Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Last Entry Got Me Thinking...

about some of the other insenstive things that have been asked or said to me in regards to our family over the years. Something about having children with special needs, having children who we have adopted, or even just having a large family like ours makes some people feel that they have the right to ask very personal questions. Usually I either ignore the questions or say something lame and smile back, because as much as I'd like to fire off with a comeback like the ones below, I also realize that most people are genuine and just don't get how invasive their constant questioning really is.

The story I am going to share with you now though, still makes me smile when I think of the comeback I had for this very nosey person.

It was summertime and I was at the beach with the kids. Ben was maybe 4 and Caroline was 2. They were playing at the waters edge with buckets and just having a wonderful time. I was standing and playing right there with them when I felt like I was being watched. I looked up and there was a lady standing maybe 5 feet from us watching us play. So I smiled at her and went back to playing with the kids. That was all the invitation she needed to come over to us. She first commented on how cute the kids were and asked if they were mine, I said " yes they are and thank you" and continued to play. Then she asked how old they were and so I told her they were " 2 and 4" Then she asked if they were brother and sister and I politely said "yes" and went back to playing with them.. ( In hind sight I should have seen where this was going, but honestly they are my kids I don't look at them as looking different from eachother) So here is the kicker!!! There is a pause and I look up to see her really studying both of them ( now to really understand... Ben is blonde and blue eyed, and Caroline is dark haired, dark complexion she is half Korean and half Italian) Sooo she continues to study my kids who are TOTALLY unaware of her presense... Thank God! And she says.... Are you ready for this???? Hold on to your hats!!!! "DO THEY HAVE THE SAME FATHER?"
WHAT???? Are you kidding me??? I just about swallowed my tongue!!! I took a deep breath (and don't ask me where this came from, because I am usually not good at quick comebacks) and I said " No, they don't and they don't have the same mothers either!" Then I turned back to playing with the kids and left her standing there with her mouth hanging wide open! I could see her out of the corner of my eye for a god solid minute before she quietly turned and walked away. I can just imagine what was going through her head as she tried to figure out what I meant.
I guess I could have been more polite and explained the whole adoption thing to her, and explained about PWS, and that I have 7 kids.... blah, blah, blah.... but all I really wanted to do is enjoy playing with the kids and not be bothered by someone who felt it was ok to ask such forward questions to a complete stranger. Do they have the same father?? jeez lady come on!