Sunday, August 9, 2009

He's off....

Hi Loved Ones..
I dropped David off at camp today at noon for 2 whole weeks. Part of me is jumping up and down doing the Happy Dance! I have 2 WHOLE weeks free of David and his issues..

Then there is the other part of me...

The part who got a lump in her throat saying goodbye to him for 2 whole weeks...

The part who wishes that his life was easier... that I didn't so DESPERATELY NEED these 2 weeks break as part of my survival with this damned syndrome.... hell.. I have never sent ANY of my other kids away for 2 weeks.... actually.. I am getting ready to send Alex off to college in 3 weeks and I don't think HE has ever spent 2 whole weeks away from us.. so why is this break so needed????

David is high maintenance... always has been. Probably always will be. His very existence revolves around how many buttons he can push in a day... in an hour... in 15 minutes... you get the picture right? He isn't happy unless there is turmoil.. he can't enjoy a day at the beach... he is ALWAYS worried about what is next... NEXT ACTIVITY... NEXT FOOD OPPORTUNITY... NEXT OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE SOMEONE LIFE DIFFICULT.. this is our reality with him and with PWS... it is not like that with the other 2... I'm not sure why.. but they are both so easy comparatively!!

By this point in the summer I am ready for the week break... ready for not dealing with his issues for 2 weeks... ready to go park my ass in the sand at the beach and not be nagged to death about "what is next" It's hard to explain... part of me feels like a part of me is missing with him gone for 2 whole weeks... and part of me (possibly a bigger part) is so thankful for the break that I feel guilty for how much I am looking forward to it.
I know he is well taken care of at camp..... I know he has a blast... I know that he probably misses us but is enjoying his break from us... BUT....

I still feel that pang of guilt that I can't provide the structure he needs...
That I am really looking forward to NOT dealing with him and all his issues for 2 whole weeks

Ok.....not sure where this post is going.... so here are a few pictures from today....










David all packed and ready to go

Everyone at camp welcoming the campers!

\

DAVID and he favorite counselor Amy!








In his cabin all unpacked!





With his counselors for the next 2 weeks!
I know he will do just fine... probably "too" fine.. and another little piece of my heart will be ripped out in the process.... life with PWS is just plain ol' hard sometimes....
~Vicki


1 comments:

Zay'sMom said...

It's not PWS that we deal with, but I totally understand where you are coming from. It's so hard to not feel guilty, but those breaks are NEEDED. ((hugs))